Comments on: Could some one help me with this essay I’m desperate.I am not finished? http://www.longislandcoastalhomes.com/long-island-coastal/could-some-one-help-me-with-this-essay-im-desperate-i-am-not-finished Your guide to homes in Long Island! Sat, 01 May 2010 02:55:59 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.3 hourly 1 By: Exotherm1 http://www.longislandcoastalhomes.com/long-island-coastal/could-some-one-help-me-with-this-essay-im-desperate-i-am-not-finished/comment-page-1#comment-240 Exotherm1 Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:57:59 +0000 http://www.longislandcoastalhomes.com/long-island-coastal/could-some-one-help-me-with-this-essay-im-desperate-i-am-not-finished#comment-240 OK.. Let me see what I can do (it's me, again) These sentences need fixing: 1. "The Bahamas depend solely (ON WHAT?) they are . ." 2. "These emissions can be seen when you start your car on a cold early morning and the muffler smokes . . ." (The essay is written in 3rd person, don't use "you" which is in 2nd person). Use this, " . . . can be seen when a car is started on a cold morning. The muffler will emit visible vapor." 3. Also, the more cars RUN IN IDLE for a long period of time . . ." 4. Start a new paragraph after "Providence and Grand Bahama" in the second paragraph. 5. Change "low-line" to "low-lying" (two times). 6. Scientist are fervently... should be "Scientists" 7. Don't use capitals on "of Sea Level Rising is shown" 8. Add "thing" in "not the only THING to be threatened" 9. Last paragraph - it's "dengue fever".. not just "dengue". To end it, I'd suggest: "The effects of global warming are becoming more evident as time passes. As humans, we really only notice rapid changes easily, so the gradual effects of warming and pollution do not get much attention. We can reverse this, however, if we all realize the danger from this situation and take responsibility to do our part to help our world." You have a good essay. Congratulations. <br><b>References : </b><br>Old Swabbie. OK.. Let me see what I can do (it’s me, again)

These sentences need fixing:

1. "The Bahamas depend solely (ON WHAT?) they are . ."

2. "These emissions can be seen when you start your car on a cold early morning and the muffler smokes . . ." (The essay is written in 3rd person, don’t use "you" which is in 2nd person). Use this, " . . . can be seen when a car is started on a cold morning. The muffler will emit visible vapor."

3. Also, the more cars RUN IN IDLE for a long period of time . . ."

4. Start a new paragraph after "Providence and Grand Bahama" in the second paragraph.

5. Change "low-line" to "low-lying" (two times).

6. Scientist are fervently… should be "Scientists"

7. Don’t use capitals on "of Sea Level Rising is shown"

8. Add "thing" in "not the only THING to be threatened"

9. Last paragraph – it’s "dengue fever".. not just "dengue".

To end it, I’d suggest:

"The effects of global warming are becoming more evident as time passes. As humans, we really only notice rapid changes easily, so the gradual effects of warming and pollution do not get much attention. We can reverse this, however, if we all realize the danger from this situation and take responsibility to do our part to help our world."

You have a good essay. Congratulations.

References :
Old Swabbie.

]]> By: TSW http://www.longislandcoastalhomes.com/long-island-coastal/could-some-one-help-me-with-this-essay-im-desperate-i-am-not-finished/comment-page-1#comment-239 TSW Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:47:59 +0000 http://www.longislandcoastalhomes.com/long-island-coastal/could-some-one-help-me-with-this-essay-im-desperate-i-am-not-finished#comment-239 You seem to be listening to all the groups that have a financial steak in the idea it man made. The truth is the the world has been going through cycles of heating and cooling for billions of years. One volcano put more co2 in the air than man has since the beginning of time. God has a way of correcting this. when worm the clouds form reflecting sun light and cooling. Carbon is cleaned out the the air through rain. Man has not created anything that was not already here in the first place. It's a cycle of the way things are. NOT MAN that is coursing the worming. <br><b>References : </b><br> You seem to be listening to all the groups that have a financial steak
in the idea it man made.
The truth is the the world has been going through cycles of heating
and cooling for billions of years. One volcano put more co2 in the
air than man has since the beginning of time. God has a way of correcting this. when worm the clouds form reflecting sun light and
cooling. Carbon is cleaned out the the air through rain.
Man has not created anything that was not already here in the first
place.

It’s a cycle of the way things are. NOT MAN that is coursing
the worming.
References :

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