Registering for gifts after living together for years…?
Author: admin / Category: long island coastalDoes anyone else have this problem? How did you solve it?
My fiance and I have been living together for about 4 years now. We’re looking into registering for gifts for our July 2009 wedding. The problem is that we have almost everything we need because we’ve been living together for so long! Everything I have needed for our apartment, I got for Christmas just before we first moved in together. The biggest problem is that my extended family will throw a fit if we do not have an adequate gift registry! I watched it happen with my cousin’s wedding 5 years ago… We’re registering at amazon.com and Target through idofoundation.org, and having a portion of each purchase from our registry go to the charity of our choice. In our case, it’s the Assateague Coastal Trust because we got engaged on Assateague Island. Any tips as to what items I can register for? Any advice?
HELP!!!
Most of the kitchen appliances we have, we have never even opened! We have a wok, a frier, a food processer, and many other things we aren’t even using.
We don’t see the point to getting fine china because we’re not the type of people to actually use it. We don’t drink at all and wine glasses and flutes seem just ridiculous to us. We have our tent and top of the line sleeping bags already (he proposed when we were camping at Assateague State Park).
My biggest issue with upgrading to better quality stuff is that my fiance feels horrible about asking for big ticket items. For example, he broke our digital camera while fishing this past year, so I suggested we register for one and he said we couldn’t because it would cost too much. I don’t know, I feel like I am in such a bind! Maybe I should just register without his input because it would be easier, but then I’d feel bad because we do EVERYTHING together.
I’m having the same issue! A friend told me about a website that is www.ourwishingwell.com and you can register on there and people can give you money towards big things, like a honeymoon, mortgage payments, etc. It’s super cute and I think people will like knowing they are contributing to things you really need and not just things you are going to replace for the heck of it…
good luck 
September 5th, 2009 at 5:25 am
I had the same problem, but this is your chance to get quality stuff that otherwise you’d never buy yourself! We threw out all our old spatulas, serving spoons, etc and registered for all new, matching stuff. We also registered for china because trust me, you’ll never ever fork over the cash to buy it yourself, and every good hostess should have some.
Wine glasses, get some new drinking glasses and tumblers, etc. Need a new vacuum? Get a fancy one!
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September 5th, 2009 at 5:41 am
Why don’t you register for cat litter and dog food and then just donate it to the animal shelter? But seriously, if your extended family is too bone-headed to understand your situation – go ahead and register for upgrades to your current items, or simply do register for items you already have and donate those directly to charity. OR return gifts and buy everyday items that you will need (this will be easy to do at Target since you can also buy paper towels, laundry detergent, etc. there).
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September 5th, 2009 at 5:55 am
Do you need Luggage? Maybe new dishes or glasses, sporting or outdoor equipment. If you don’t need anything or the money ask for donations for a shelter, hospital, or children’s home that could use help. Good luck on your upcoming wedding
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September 5th, 2009 at 6:25 am
My husband and I had moved in together almost a year before our engagement and bought a house together shortly after we were engaged. I purposely made it a point not to buy new things, so we had quite the hodge podge of items. Most were hand-me-downs or cheaper versions. However, even so, I thought we were going to have issues with registering!
We registered for new everyday plates (ours were just plain white), new glasses, and silverware, and thought that our registry was totally lacking. We already had nice knives, pots and pans, and a couple new countertop appliances as, just like you, I got a bunch for Christmas presents the few months before. We also added additional spatulas/cooking utensil in the same higher quality brand; basically we just upgraded many of the items we already owned and then donated our old stuff. When we were registering, my husband even made comments about that, how he’d never buy it on his own. I own a home-based dog treat bakery, so we got some new things for that as well. We even put big ticket items on it that we never expected to get like a KitchenAid mixer! Some families like to go together on gifts, so it is possible to get.
Bed, Bath, and Beyond had a ton of things we had never even thought to register for. I had never really been in there before, but now I love that store,ha. Maybe try checking that place out? Upgrade linens or get spares for wash days.
Do you like playing board games? Watching movies? Register for those. Outdoor games? Do you like to go camping? Register for a tent, sleeping bags, cooking supplies, lanterns, etc. Need new frames for the wedding pictures? Or scrapbook? Other decorative items? Going on a honeymoon and need items? For example, somewhere tropical, register for new beach towels, sunscreen, maybe an umbrella, magazines…
Hope that helps!
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Newlywed
September 5th, 2009 at 6:38 am
Here’s a few ideas…
1. Register for your honeymoon. Each guest puts a certain amount toward your honeymoon and you get a vacation for free. Check with a travel agent for more info.
2. Have your guests give to the charity of your choice or donate the gifts you receive.
3. Replace any old items you don’t use anymore or would like a nicer version.
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September 5th, 2009 at 6:58 am
you can open an account at a travel agent and have everyone make a contribution yowards your honeymoon
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September 5th, 2009 at 7:47 am
People who have everything they need don’t get to register for gifts to "upgrade" after they’ve been shacking up for years.
I think it’s just tacky, no matter how you want to dress it up with a "charity" bow.
How funny that the ‘it’s your day do what you want" doesn’t apply when your family is threatening to "throw a fit" in a way that works to your advantage LOL
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September 5th, 2009 at 8:16 am
There’s nothing Amazon or Target sells that you want?
It doesn’t have to be anything "for the apartment" – register for things you both want or enjoy. My husband and I lived together for some time before getting married; I registered on Amazon, too, and on our registry there were books, video games and musical instruments along with some of the more fun/exotic appliances like a juicer, an ice cream maker and a waffle cone maker. I also put some sheets and towels on there as it seems like we never have enough of those. A couple of things that I added were meant to replace something we already had – i.e., we had a very old baking set, and I chose a new one to replace it; we donated the old one, as someone ended up getting the new one for us. Also, we replaced our silverware with a nicer set.
Be creative – if you like camping, register for camping gear and supplies; if you like movies, add some DVDs or BlueRays to the list; if you like to read, pick some books you’d like to own. It doesn’t have to be all blenders and toasters.
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September 5th, 2009 at 8:48 am
ask for sheets and comforters, thing you can never have enough and liek msot people said ask for expensive versions of everything or just let your family have a fit and have it your way
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September 5th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Well, I’m divorced now and in a new relationship but I had a similar situation for my first marriage. We had been living together for almost 5 years and were getting married 5 years to the date of our meeting. We had everything already and so when people asked if we were registered somewhere we just told everyone that we preferred monetary gifts since we were buying our first house. We received a mix of household items, gift cards and cash. I think you can register for gift cards but you could also register for extra sets of sheets, towels. Maybe do an inventory of your kitchen to see if maybe there is something you might want that you don’t already own. Maybe some items to entertain that you wouldn’t normally buy because they are not necessary but fun to share with guests. Good luck and most of all have fun.
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September 5th, 2009 at 10:03 am
My fiance & I merged two houses together so we had doubles of LOTS of stuff. However, we still found things to register for.
Sears is great for tools and gardening items.
We also chose JC Penney & Macy’s where we registered for new matching towels, sheets, some nicer pots & pans. We did put fine china on the list as we will use it. Picture frames & wedding-styled photo albums. We put new everyday dishes (the ones we have are chipped or a plate or cup have been broken). I included new things for the bathroom that I wanted to spruce up or change: shower curtain, shower curtain liner, rugs/mats. We only put a couple new appliances: an ice cream maker and really big crock pot.
Pot holders (if you use them, you can get nicer ones or ones that all match).
Think of the stuff that you would like to replace or that isn’t a major cost to upgrade.
I think the most expensive thing on our registry is $80.
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September 5th, 2009 at 10:24 am
I’m having the same issue! A friend told me about a website that is http://www.ourwishingwell.com and you can register on there and people can give you money towards big things, like a honeymoon, mortgage payments, etc. It’s super cute and I think people will like knowing they are contributing to things you really need and not just things you are going to replace for the heck of it…
good luck
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September 5th, 2009 at 10:42 am
You don’t have to register for a ton of stuff – add things that you can always use, like extra towels, nice pillows and sheets, etc.
The people who don’t see anything they like on your registry will, 99% of the time, just give you money, which is probably what you’d prefer, right?
Or you can indicate that, in lieu of gifts, guests can make a donation to the Assateague Coastal Trust.
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September 5th, 2009 at 10:52 am
I’m sure you can find some things that need replacing.
Also, think ahead 5-10 years. Will you still be living where you are? You might need more stuff then, so you might as well get it now. I’ve been married for 8 years now and we are just now in a bigger house and I’v really gotten into cooking/baking so I’ve need more kitchen stuff now.
You can always use bath towels.
Don’t forget about him – is there any tools that he needs. Extension cords are also nice.
Be sure to register for some big items too (some people like to go in on gifts together). Suitcases, air mattress, yard stuff, etc.
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